It's all Stanley Kubrick's fault

I'm scared of men in bunny suits. There, I've said it. For a very long time I've had this irrational fear. Though I'm not entirely convinced it's irrational, for what rational reason does a grown man have to be wearing a bunny costume? If you meet a man in a bunny costume, rest assured, he's there to do you ill.

I think it started in childhood when my oft-absent parents left me alone one night with the new VCR and a freshly rented copy of The Shining. Watching the flick, I was doing OK until the scene where Olive Oyle is walking up the staircase clutching the giant butcher knife. She comes around the corner, peers into a room and sees Delbert Grady being fellated by a man wearing a bunny (possibly beaver) outfit. Scared me directly out of my just pubescent mind. Kubrick you son-of-a-bitch. Not only did you instill this phobia in me, your vile spawn is now sprinkling Hollywood with her dreck.

I bash on Stan K a lot for igniting my phobia, but there have been other movies with similar characters that have done just as much damage. Did you see Sexy Beast? How about Donnie Darko? I am brushing up on middle age and consider myself to have an analytical intellect, but those fucking bunny-men still scare the crap out of me. Them, with their ratty long ears and brown-stained buck teeth. You just know they're up to no good.

"Uncle Craig, how many beers is that for you now?"

If I lived in WI I expect I wouldn't survive for long. I've eaten enough cheese to plug the big 4 coronary arteries and put away enough beer to keep Milwaukee solvent for years to come. I'm really only hanging out with my 7-year-old niece. She keeps insisting that I've really lost my drinking prowess and continually taunts my lack of chugging abilities. You should see her rip up a keg-stand, brings a tear to your eye. They grow up so fast. At least I drank good beer here. It's called Sprecher and it's brewed in Milwaukee. If you find it and are a fan of the brew, pick it up stat.

Tomorrow I head back to NY with my freshly ameliorated farmer tan. The new dark skin looks nice; unfortunately it's now stretched like a snare drum across a rather distended belly. A few hours in the gym should take care of that. Or another month in India... The first year med students begin orientation next week as they begin their work in school. It's always a fun time of year and I am looking forward to helping out with their "education".