Family Medicine: The most dangerous medical specialty

I am currently in the final week of my Family Medicine clerkship. This is where we learn how to be a good ol' country doctor, a general practitioner. Late last week my attending asked me to see this very kindly looking gentleman who looked to be around retirement age. He was tall with a shock of untamed white hair sticking out from his head. He was in for just a checkup, some blood work and a refill of a couple prescriptions; it was pretty standard stuff for a Family Doctor. As with every patient I had to do a quick physical exam just to make sure everything was normal on him. It was a routine exam, blood pressure was fine, heart and lungs sounded normal, and then I got to his abdominal exam. I had the gentleman lay down on the exam table and asked him to life up his shirt to expose his midsection. This is where things got a little weird.

I noticed a wooden handle sticking out of his trousers, just to the right of his naval. "That's funny", I thought. "Why does this old fellow have his cane shoved down his pants?" Not wanting to offend or appear alarmed, I continued my exam and as I was palpating the lower quadrants of his abdomen I realized that the man didn't use a cane. The wooden handle sticking out of his pants was actually the revolver he was carrying.

I paused for a moment and then continued as if nothing were amiss. I remember thinking to myself: "Well, I have my hands half-way down this man's pants, if he was going to shoot me, he'd have done it already."