It's all Stanley Kubrick's fault

I'm scared of men in bunny suits. There, I've said it. For a very long time I've had this irrational fear. Though I'm not entirely convinced it's irrational, for what rational reason does a grown man have to be wearing a bunny costume? If you meet a man in a bunny costume, rest assured, he's there to do you ill.

I think it started in childhood when my oft-absent parents left me alone one night with the new VCR and a freshly rented copy of The Shining. Watching the flick, I was doing OK until the scene where Olive Oyle is walking up the staircase clutching the giant butcher knife. She comes around the corner, peers into a room and sees Delbert Grady being fellated by a man wearing a bunny (possibly beaver) outfit. Scared me directly out of my just pubescent mind. Kubrick you son-of-a-bitch. Not only did you instill this phobia in me, your vile spawn is now sprinkling Hollywood with her dreck.

I bash on Stan K a lot for igniting my phobia, but there have been other movies with similar characters that have done just as much damage. Did you see Sexy Beast? How about Donnie Darko? I am brushing up on middle age and consider myself to have an analytical intellect, but those fucking bunny-men still scare the crap out of me. Them, with their ratty long ears and brown-stained buck teeth. You just know they're up to no good.