"I'm alculimic"

Dear Joe:
Your incessant whining about receiving no email correspondence from friends has touched within me a sympathetic fiber. So I write this missive to you, oh abiding one. If this were your blog, I can assure you that its festooned manifest would read "I have been drunk now for over two weeks, I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks."

The first week of med school has been, not surreal because it feels completely entrenched in reality, but rather like I'm a guest at a long-finished party and soon enough the host will stop vacuuming, look over at me and ask "What the hell are you still doing here?" I don't really feel like I'm here for the next 4 years.

The classes are OK. I would like to say that they are enthralling and teach me something new about the human condition every day. Unfortunately, the truth is that all of the subject material we are covering so far describes content I have seen a multitude of times. Sure, the exams should be easy enough to pass, but there lacks a certain challenge I desire in this endeavor. I also know that this is temporary, and soon enough I will be bitching about how much I have to learn in such little time.

What has been enlightening in this experience are the people I have gotten to know during the brief time I've been here. I am continuously tempted to call them kids, because I am, on average, 14 years their senior. However, the people I have made friends with in the last 9 days are, simply put, amazing. I look back at my own accomplishments from when I was their age and am humbled. These are people who have worked hard enough in high school to attend Ivy League colleges. Then they worked hard enough there to make it to medical school. On top of all of that, they are the most welcoming, open-minded, fun-loving people one could ever wish to meet. Not a single person I have met is at all conceited or egotistical. Even if they were, I would not blame them for an instant for being so, they deserve to be. In fact, they make me a better person just by associating with them.

The last week has been what our school calls "Orientation." Basically, it's an excuse for all the 1st and 2nd year medical students to hang out and drink every night until September 1st. A couple of nights ago we had what was called "around the world night." This is where selected 2nd year students open their apartments up and have a theme country in it. One was Russia, where vodka drinks were served. Another was Ireland where Guinness and mint jello shots were proffered. Our final country was Italy where they had a large punchbowl filled with some kind of Amaretto drink. My group was the last group to visit Italy and apparently the previous groups lacked our...appetites. My roommate, Dr. Shock, approached the punchbowl and proclaimed his intention to drink the rest of the concoction. There was at least 2 quarts left in the bowl. He hoisted up the bowl to his lips and drank down into his $1.50 frame all of the remaining amaretto punch.

After Italy, Dr. Shock and I stopped by our apartment to visit the boy's room and grab keys, ID, money, etc. for the continuance of the evening at a local bar. I headed down to the building lobby to meet our friends. Dr. Shock stayed behind in the apartment for a little while. As we waited for Dr. Shock in the lobby, people grew impatient wondering where he was. When he finally arrived, he looked bright and chipper and ready to take on the rest of the evening.

"You look amazing for just having slammed 2 liters of Amaretto sour"
"No problem dude, it's all taken care of."
*pause*
"You didn't ask for a refund, did you?"
"What can I say, I'm alculimic"

Tomorrow we have a keg party before one of those dirty hypnotists entertains us. Wednesday it's international night where the foreigners here will feed us interesting foods from their home countries. The following night we have a "Beer Pong" tournament (good thing I've had recent lessons). Then there are several more nights of generic merry-making. I think after that, the party might be over.

Well, I hope you are doing well in your mountainous retreat of leisure. If you ever get to the Big Apple, look me up. The phone number is the same.