"Nice ass, FAG!!!!!"

Too tired to type. I did a 50+ mile bike ride today. From Danville, to Walnut Creek, over to Concord, through Clayton down to the Morgan Preserve, then I climbed that hill over to Black Hawk and back to Danville. Donger need food!

I commute to and from work on my bike a few times a week too. The round trip is 40 miles and goes over the Dumbarton Bridge. My greatest joy in life is to call that bridge the Dumbarton Fink Bridge. Yes, high comedy. Anyway, I've noticed that automobile drivers like to interact in various ways with the bicyclists they pass on the road. Usually this involves beeping or shouting, but occasionally you get doused with soda or beer and every once in a while, they throw something at you. It's kind of like those 4th of July parades when you were a kid and they would throw candy from the floats. Only candy rarely lacerates your scalp or bruises your ribs.

Today's ride was mostly on remote country roads, so there was relatively little traffic interaction for me to enjoy. However, while riding through Walnut Creek, one nice gentleman in a Camaro did shout out "Nice ass, FAG!!!!!" Now, I'm pretty comfortable with my heterosexuality, so being called a fag isn't at all devastating to me. I assume, though, that this fine, meth-addled, Camaro driving, Central Valley denizen felt it to be an insult of the highest order. Which got me to thinking. I'm the one with the nice ass, and he was the one who noticed and pointed it out verbally...so who exactly is supposed to be the fag in this scenario? Shouldn't he have said something along the lines of "Hey fag, I have a nice ass and I'll bet you would like it if you could see it, which you can't because you're too busy peddling that faggoty bike in your faggoty bike shorts, fag!"? He bravely squealed off before I could hold a civil discourse with him and posit my theory on his sexuality.